I have found that talking to you all about being blocked up and unable to write has really helped. I cannot say how it has helped, but I feel a weight has lifted off my chest and here I am again pounding away on the keyboard, keeping my sister’s cat from enjoying his nap on the desk every time I press the enter key.
One thing which I think I would really like to share with you was something I never foresaw when I first decided that my interest in spirituality was more than a superficial hobby. Jean Paul Sartre said quite famously in his play No Exit “l’enfer est les autres”. Literally hell is other people, meaning that certain other people can be the most effective form of hell i.e. estrangement, chastisements etc.
I have found this statement to be a bit false. People in and of themselves are people we are prone to suffering to grief, pain, elation love, experiences of transcendence and its opposite and each of us responds to those plethora of stimuli in our own unique way. As the years continue onward and I go further and further on the path, (hopefully) I have discovered for me at least how important the other people are, how much they are a catalyst for transformation, how they are of course a mirror into our own being, but they are to me a face of the Friend , of the Absolute, of God
It sounds cheesy I know, but its interesting. A few weeks ago I felt so changed and different. I think spiritual practice and experiences do that to you, they pull the rug out from under you and you fall on your head and are horrible disorientated for a while. You don’t want to talk to friends, you don’t want to go outside and see the Avengers. You just kind of want to sit and there and stew for a bit , you want to wait for the earth to stop moving under your feet. But it never does, one has responsibilities one has dogs to walk bills to pay, and one is a part of society and before you know it you back out there in Grand Central or at time square waiting for the train being jostled by about what seems to be 2 million people, you want to scream and go back, but at soem point many stations and many trains later you realized your being reborn and what made you feel that people were annoying , or antagonizing you was sort of like labor pains and of course then that slap on your ass (not literally because that is sexual harassment) is to get you to first acknowledge that you are are in a different place, to then to take a deep breathe and go into it
anyways just my weird thought/observation
and now I got to go