It’s been difficult to write on the caravan. About 1200 posts later I often wonder what of any value or use can I share with you. I’d like to tell you ‘I have had great experiences, like I have been taken to realms beyond any conception of Heaven or paradise’ but even if that were to happen it wouldn’t do anything for anyone except in my limited thinking provide a source of entertainment. One of my favorite philosophers Jean Baudrillard has said that “It is always the same: once you are liberated, you are forced to ask who you are.” This statement has become even more meaningful to me now.
So far four to five years since becoming a dervish one thing I can say with certainty is that slowly I have been liberated from many false images of myself from the cynical pessimistic view of things I used to have, etc. This process is ongoing and every time something leaves (idea ideology or behavior pattern) I am forced to come to terms again with the penultimate existential question of who am I behind all the nonsense, behind all the likes and dislikes, behind the joys behind the seemingly growing jeremiad.
It quite powerful to think that Hamlet starts with the words “Who’s There”. Lately I have been approaching the question of who’s there in a different way. I have seen time and time again that one cannot experience who one is all alone in a vacuum. Yet we liven a time that is so fraught with estrangement (personal and social), absurdity, marginalization of certain group of people,and ideological battles to name a few. There is a real need to connect to others, and not in a superficial way, and if we look at technology its much more possible now than ever before in our history. But how can we do so in a sincere way?
(more to come later)
That which is formles
takes on a physical shape
so we may know it.
All the parts of self exist so we can function in the world and transcend our own pull. Then that which is permanent enters and for the moment takes up residence.
Enjoy the journey.
Thank you Camille, for a beautiful reflection. I think that in Sufism, we are challenged to recognize al-Hallaj’s answer “Ana’l-Haqq.” (“I am the Reality.”) as an ultimate touchstone. Otherwise shy of such bold claims for ourselves, I think we have to focus on the self-development of adab, practicing “good manners,” “appropriate action,” “refined behavior,” “hospitality,” etc. I’m working on the challenge of understanding that the mystery is revealed in the human being. So “Who am I?” is a key question to which I think the accessible answer is the one aspiring to practice and fulfill adab. In that practice I hope that who I am can become a Reality. “Adab Ya Hu” is a declaration I have seen and wondered how to translate and how to live. But I take it to mean that adab and divinity are interrelated.
I reposted this David. I think your observations are – well – inspired and amazing. I know the deep agony that walks side by side with understanding and the endless questions we carry. I feel I walk with you.