Hope you are all well. Lately as you can tell from my last post I have been having a difficult time sort of integrating back into normal social habits such as hanging out and the like. After a good number of months dealing and trying to recover from intense sickness, family deaths, and the consequence of some personal issues, and other things I feel like a stranger just walking about. I personally feel so different I could tell you who I was a year ago. This happens in cycles it seems. There are periods of time where everything is seemingly fine and then something inside shift and the world and all the people in it become encased in glass like at a museum and Im of course separated on the outside looking in with strange eyes.
The path so far in my experience is definitely not a straight line. It is more like a spiral. Look at these words from The Bond With the Beloved by Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee and Irina Tweedie respectively
Slowly the ego dies. Slowly the lover gets absorbed into the Beloved. Slowly His consciousness permeates what is left of the lover. With each little death a veil is torn away and the closeness that had been hidden within the heart becomes more and more part of our everyday life. There are stages on this journey, moments of death and moments of birth, times of transition and times that seem to be empty of progress. But one of the difficulties of trying to describe this journey is that it is not linear. It is not a path from A to B. Rather it is a circumambulation of the soul, a spiral dance that draws us towards the center of ourself where the lover and the Beloved have always been united.
All movement on the spiral path. . . can be seen as simultaneous happenings which are only subtle variations in the center. . . . The spiral is an incredibly beautiful symbol. The situations repeat themselves again and again. The nearness to the Beloved grows deeper and deeper. The despair when He veils His face grows greater and greater. Until one day all that disappears somewhere.
As diffiult as it is,I must say it is such a salve to know that we never walk alone, though it may appear to be so at times. Thanks to all of you who read this blog and write comments.even though ur presence is wrapped in silence it still quite puissant.