Again I find myself awake when I should have been already asleep. I am a little here and a little there, pondering deeply but not also at the same time. My thoughts, if they can be called such are gravitating towards the idea of living life like a traveler in this world. Take a look at these two quotes from Llewellyn Vaughan Lee
1. Sufis are known as “travelers” or “wayfarers on the mystical path,” following the saying of the Prophet, “Be in this world as if you are a traveler, a passerby, with your clothes and shoes full of dust.” We are like tramps, not in the sense that we wear old clothes, but in the sense that we have no real home in this world because we belong somewhere else. We follow the will of God and not the ways of the world.
2. Spiritual life is a response to a call. Of our own accord we would never turn away from the world and begin the long and painful journey home. But Someone calls to us, calls to us from within the depths of our heart, awakening our own deepest longing.
I have just been thinking how on the one hand, it seems impossible it is to live in this world as a traveler, but on the other how there is nothing more beautiful when it does happen. I really feel that a mystic is born not created. From early one maybe because the vestiges of an experience of reality are strongly imprinted in our heart we are unable to buy too much into this world. For each person it manifests differently. For me it was an intense sorrow, what felt like depression and feeling of futility. Nothing could make me happy, not books, not going out, not drinking or anything else you can name.
Even now that I am a darvish, the longing and sadness is there, the feeling like there is no real comfort for me anywhere except outside of deep meditation where for brief moments I separated from David. However there are moments of ‘love’ that kill all longing for anything else.
I am reminded of Kahlil’s Gibran’s words
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
The part about too much tenderness really is where it’s at. Sometimes I wonder how I was able to finish school and do well, how I am able to work when sometimes I am not all there or I am in the grips of emotions that are too intense to be discussed or put into words. Yet this is just part of the story. There is the ridiculing and ostracizing by those around you, the being told to grow up, the constant attacks of what people believe is falsity ironically having never thoroughly really investigated or walked the path.
Sometimes in the course of things you meet one like yourself, a seeker. You may be of different nationalities you may not speak even the same language but there is something that is being said between the both of you in your hearts. Its like you see again your long lost brother. There is no need for words. One just knows, Many times I find myself wishing it could be like that for other people, for the same peoplewho tease and ridicule and judge. By be like that I mean that we could all move behind formalities, dogma and routine and just enjoy the beauty that is to be alive and be human.Like we couldstop placing so muchemphasis on what we think we see and understand and listen to what is unfolding now. It’s a silly wish but, its all that’s on my mind at the moment
Sadiq from Inspiration and Creative thought: http://mysticsaint.blogspot.com
Irving from Darvish Blog http://darvish.wordpress.com/
Dr. Bitkoff http://stewartbitkoff.com/
Abdur Rahman http://thecorner.wordpress.com
and Dear friends in Latvia and Australia that though are unnamed are a major presence.